"That's how you roll, bro!"
I first came across this video on YouTube in November of 2006, and it has since found a warm place in my heart and the hearts of others. In fact, if you ever hear me or one of my friends yelling, "WHOooaAHH! That's how you roll, bro!" in a situation that very self-consciously badass, we're referring to this. The video now has 411 views, and about 200 of them are probably me.
Why do I love this video? In short, because I have zero friends who are like this and I would never be at a party like the one they're throwing: a bunch of gelled-up frat guys congratulating themselves for doing, like, ten shots of Broken Down Golf Cart (which is the pussiest drink in history). Recently, the cameraman has also uploaded videos of he and his friends shooting plastic buckets with a shotgun from 15 feet away, and clips of them dribbling basketballs in a gymnasium. It's classic stuff.
Today, I pay tribute to Bartender Takes Shots by giving an informal transcript of the events that took place one Friday night in John Mac's crappy basement apartment...
Jay agitates the cocktail shaker in his strong hands, then pours the sweet red nectar into four oversized shot glasses.
Cameraman: OH yeah! Friday night, LE Bay(?) plaza!
Friend #1: WHAT UP!!!
John Mac: Oh my god, how many have you had already?
Jay: About ten...
Cameraman: WHOAA! WHOOOAAAOOOOH!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOHOOHOOOHOOO!
Jay gives the camera a dashing smile, the one he usually reserves for the ladies.
Cameraman: That's how you roll, Jay! YEEEAH! WHOAA!
Jay drinks the shots.
Cameraman: Yeaaah...
John Mac: Dude, don't do this. You've already had, like, eight of them...come on.
Cameraman: Yeaaah...
The camera turns toward John Mac, who begins to walk away.
Cameraman:Oh! Oh! Oh! John Mac, it's me and you dude!
John Mac roguishly raises his middle finger to the camera.
Cameraman: John Mac, where you going dude?
I think you can really feel the tension building between John Mac and Jay. I wonder what happened that fateful night, after the camera turned off?
March 13, 2008 11:59 AM
Matt said:
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Oh, you know how it went. They sat around watching porn for half an hour and then, when they couldn't decide whether it was their porn or the homosocial tension giving them erections, they played Halo 3 while drinking malt beer and corpse-humping until they passed out.
That's the way it always goes.