say it with pie

Another classic courtesy of Sarah Haskins.

How am I not watching the The Cougar already? It looks so awesome terrible!!!

Check out a few of the “cubs” from the show behind the cut…

“I’m just a sensitive guy looking for love, like Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Ripley.”

Someone who’s intelligent = someone who will pay off his student loans in exchange for a superficial feeling of being loved = someone who is not intelligent.

In junior high, no-neck Johnny played baseball, but now he’s looking for someone who plays grown-up games, like rugby and football. Or maybe someone who’s an ultimate fighting champion.

But the best ever:

“You want into Dario’s or Les Retch? I know the guys that work the door and we are, like, old school bros…anything we want, bro! You take the young hotties, and I’ll take the old hotties. It’s gonna be epic!”